2007-02-21 - 8:53 p.m.
I give a lot of thought to the future of my hair, especially being that, per the sophomore-year biology class maxim, my mother's father was seriously losing a lot of hair by the time he was 22. In addition, both of the uncles on my mom's side of the family have a lot of hair loss.
So basically ever since I was a child, I grew up with the sad knowledge that all these locks on my head would be gone. Just like knowing one day I would be paralyzed and semi-comatose, I knew that I would grew old with a cue ball for a skull. I mean, it's not like I do anything that great at all with my hair anyway. But I'll miss it anyway, right?
So whenever I see older men losing their hair, I like to see what they're doing with it. It's like a way of shopping for future haircuts and seeing what works on old men with no hair. Which, let's face it, the only hair cut that works for older men is getting a buzz cut. Shave it. Bring it down. Cut it close to the skin, grandpa. Because have you really ever seen an older man with longer hair who looked great? No. No one. No one ever.
If I see an older guy with a nice little trimmed dome, I get so proud of him. Good job, sir--you faced the facts that you have no hair and you dealt with it pragmatically. A close shave--nice work!
The other day on the bus, there was a guy who had a typical old man who has lost a lot of hair look (e.g. very shiny on the top from the skull). But the remaining hair on the sides he had grown out long enough to touch just above his shoulders AND ON TOP OF THAT it curled in a bit so it looked like a Dutch boy cut. When I looked at it, the first thing that I thought of to describe it was "Curtains For Neck Theater." And whatever mental image you have when you read that, you're probably correct in guessing what his hair looked like.
