2006-12-12 - 3:39 p.m.
The Oregon Trail, Day Three: Sunday, December 3, 2006.
7:25 a.m. - "I am not too cool for anything except, maybe, Sam's Choice Cola." - me.
7:45 a.m. - We set off from Grand Island, NE for Salt Lake City to see "the freaks and geeks", as Kelly puts it.
8:10 a.m. - "ICK!" Kelly's reaction to the amount of corn growing in Nebraska.
8:36 a.m. - "Nebraska might be America's diversity sack." - me, upon seeing a sign for Carlos O'Kelly's Restaurant.
10:02 a.m. - I am unapologetic and very vocal about loving my new sunglasses from the women's department I bought the previous day at the Target in Lincoln, NE.
9:15 a.m. (MST) - Kelly and I agree for the second time on the trip that we hate it when semis think and drive like they are cars.
10:35 a.m. - It is revealed that Kelly doesn't have the patience to handle the navigational calculations needed if we travel to Anarctica.
11:15 a.m. - On the border of Nebraska and Wyoming, there is a giant white statue of the Virgin Mary in the town. Oh Jesus.
1:18 p.m. - "I wish I was running in hills. Can you imagine?" - Kelly.
1:19 p.m. - Kelly uses the word "choady" with great aplomb and success.
3:10 p.m. - (In Wyoming) "What's the next town? Oh right, there aren't any." - me.
3:30 p.m. - We make the revelation that we won't be hanging out with Mormons tonight since Mormons don't drink. We raise the suggestion that they have separate restuarants for Mormons and all others. Kelly suggests we find a nice Mormon restaurant if we want to see them. "The Golden Tablets Cafe?" - me.
5:00 p.m. - Sign: "Wyoming: Beef State: Umica County Cattle Women."
6:40 p.m. - "Oh yeah, that's...lakey." - Kelly
7:30 p.m. - We arrive at the Motel 5 in Salt Lake City. There is a couple in the parking lot who is fixing "a generator" and generally causing a lot of noise and havoc. The front desk woman is very displeased.
7:45 p.m. - We venture out to our first Salt Lake City nightspot, a bar highly recommended by Lonely Planet called Port O' Call. We're excited for our night of Mormons.
7:49 p.m. - When we enter Port O' Call, we find out that we need a private membership.
So get this shit. In Utah, any establishment that sells alcohol can only sell alcohol to people who have a membership at that establishment. Kelly and I, being out-of-towners, had to purchase temporary 3 month memberships that cost $2 each. Freaks and Geeks indeed.
7:50 p.m. - We notice there is no one in the bar. There is no "Salt Lake Nightlife" as Katie Meyer implored us to find.
9:00 p.m. - We leave Port O Call for Zipperz, a "friendly gay club," according to Lonely Planet.
9:05 p.m. - We find the address but there is no Zipperz. It is called The Hotel and there are two people inside. We forego the Salt Lake City two-person nightlife and go back to the hotel.
