2006-12-12 - 4:01 p.m.
The Oregon Trail, Day Four: Monday, December 4, 2006.
6:55 a.m. - We depart Salt Lake City for Portland, OR.
7:25 a.m. - A billboard reads "Buy a Car in 1 Hour at MenLove.com."
8:34 a.m. - We pass into Idaho!
9:30 a.m. - Idaho didn't get the message that no one cares about Beanie Babies anymore.
9:34 a.m. - In a gas station, Kelly looks for food stuffed with sugar and I for "food that'll blow my asshole up with gas."
10:49 a.m. - Kelly tells a story about how she went to Saul Bellows' house for his severely autistic 2 year old daughter's birthday party and how the party entertainment was singers from the Boston Opera doing operatic versions of "Frere Jacques" and "You Are My Sunshine."
10:50 a.m. - A gigantic wine bottle and galass are perched in the hills.
11:36 a.m. - "That girl Leslie I hate? She turned out to be a meth-head. I know it's terrible but I was pretty happy about it." - Kelly
12:15 p.m. - We see a road sign for an exit called Nampa/Parma, which sound like cities of the future to me.
2:30 p.m. - Kelly's reactions to two of Denny's menu items: The Big Bird Sandwich--"I feel nothing for that" and Chicken Fried Chicken--"It's so post-modern!"
3:30 p.m. (PST) - "Everyone here has such big bangs." - Kelly.
7:12 p.m. - We arrive in Portland at Nicole's house. The neighborhood freaks me out.
8:10 p.m. - "Indie rockers? We don't call them indie rockers here--we call them HIPSTERS." - Nicole, throwing two red triangles in the air to emphasize her point.
8:20 p.m. - We go to Olive Garden to use the $50 gift certificate that Kelly's family gave her as a coming home gift. Our waiter is really nerdy and makes a reference to "Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test," a book that none of the three of us has an interest in.
9:13 p.m. - We go to Nicole's friends', Jamie and Jonathan, house. They make handmade books that they sell for a lot of money. Jonathan is beautiful and despite him being married, that doesn't deter me from staring a lot.
9:17 p.m. - For some odd reason (two glasses of wine? 12 hours in a car?) I cannot stop myself from sounding like a total dickhead everytime I open my mouth.
9:35 p.m. - We leave Jamie and Jonathan's. In the car, I remark that Jamie looked like Joan Cusack and when Kelly says, "I thought she looked like the girl from The Drew Carey Show," Nicole and I say simultaneously, incredulously, "Mimi?"
10:04 p.m. - We have no idea what whale or giraffe fetuses look like and decide to research it the next time we're on the internet.
