2005-02-25 - 11:28 a.m.
In my apartment building on the third floor, there is a really strange family that lives there with a dog named Laika. Like most dogs here in Turkmenistan, they just let him wander around and more often than not he guards the entrance to the stairwell of my building. I live on the first floor, just one half-flight of stairs up from the ground floor right by the entrance.
Anyway, Laika inevitably stands in the concrete doorway to the stairwell and once anyone gets within 15 feet him, he begins to froth at the mouth, growl menacingly, bark in a frenzied manner, and chases after the person, jaws agape.
This dog is undoubtedly crazy as shit. This is not just a "dog that barks a lot." This is one of those dogs that if you saw in your neighborhood in America, you would call the police or the pound and within the hour, someone would take the dog away in a car, where he would killed, processed, and served in a BK Broiler the next. That kind of crazy. Like "yellow-eyed, frothing" kind of crazy.
Needless to say, you can't even get into your own home when Laika is standing there. Sometimes he even sits on the second floor landing to hide from people and then scare the crap out of them to prevent them from getting into THEIR OWN HOMES THAT THEY LIVE IN. There is nothing you can do to calm the dog--you just have to pray that he's not there, otherwise you run the risk of getting your limbs torn from your body by this dog.
So, my family and I are trying to devise a way to "make the dog go away." This would normally strike me as a horrific idea, but something has to be done. If anybody has a particularly appealing or easy idea, please. Send it my way.
