2005-02-22 - 4:26 p.m.
In order for Turkmen students to be able to study in America, they must take the FLEX test or the TOEFL test, two tests which only differ in level of difficulty. My brother Serdar would like to study in a high school exchange program in the United States; I suppose I should clarify that by saying that it is a one-way exchange where Turkmen students go to the United States but not likewise--nobody in their right mind would an American high school student here. I should also revise that by saying no one in their right mind would send a Turkmen student here.
Anyway, the first part of the FLEX and TOEFL test is a listening comprehension section where they must listen to small dialogues and answer questions about them. The other night I gave Serdar a practice TOEFL test and was given a cd to use during the listening section, which, as you can imagine, was about 19 times funnier than expected. As much as I'd love to make fun of the overenthusiastic people who act out the dialogues, I know that I'll probably end up doing just this same exact job in the future, except for cds like, "Hate Crime Legislation: Why It Matter to YOU!" playing LaDrella Fish the Limp-Wristed Drag Queen. So, I hold back.
Anyway, I had to sit in the room while Serdar took it to make sure it he didn't cheat--which is a shocking precaution I have to take in this dishonest little place I've been sent to. Between knitting and listening to the dialogues, I became increasingly more and more amused by my own write-in answers I wanted to provide for the questions. A typical dialogue would follow as such on the cd:
Man: That's a long line! Do you think there'll be any tickets left?
Woman: I doubt it--guess we'll wind up going to the second show.
Question: What does the woman mean?
or
Woman: I talked to Philip and he said he'd be coming to the party.
Man: Oh, so he can come after all.
Question: What can be inferred about Philip?
While the questions inevitably quizzed the confused international student taking the test about colloquial experessions and context clues, my brain would not stop offering up the answer "that she's a whore" or "that Phillip's a whore" or some variation on somebody being a whore. Amazingly enough, the game didn't get boring with time but instead just got funnier and funnier. A sample:
Man: How's the new job going?
Woman: Well, I'm getting used to lots of new things, but I wish the supervisor would give me more feedback.
Question: What does the woman mean?
Answer: That she's a whore.
Woman: Have you heard about the new professor?
Man: Just that she's no pushover.
Question: What does the woman mean?
Answer: That she's a whore.
Woman: Why don't you wear that yellow shirt that your sister gave you for your birthday?
Man: I love that shirt, but it's missing two buttons!
Question: What does the man mean?
Answer: That he's a whore.
I hope this goes to show you that the Peace Corps isn't a breeding ground for improved character, real-life skills, and maturity. Instead, it's just giving me more outlets to be a big pre-teen who still makes jokes about peeing in Turkmen with his host sister.
